It's as if I can see myself riding along on a path, while decent in my own mind, even doing what would be acceptable, but it is not God's path. God's probably already told me not to go that way, but I have ignored that. In my mind's eye, I can see myself standing over some brutish donkey of an idea, taking my switch to it, giving it an earful of all the reasons it should keep carrying me to my destination. OBVIOUSLY a defective donkey! Seriously, I can see myself doing that, in my heart.
Then, suddenly, seemingly out of nowhere, comes the angel of the Lord. The AHA moment. The clarity. Of course I'm not to go this way. I see it now. I wasn't seeing the angel blocking the path. Blocking for whatever reason, for my safety, for someone else's safety, and, Lord help me, even for that wild, talking donkey's safety.
I never seem to see those roadblocks in my way as the Lord. I always see that my donkey, or whatever dream I happen to be riding on, is swerving to frantically get off the current path. That's all I see. That's all I want to see. Easier for me to blame the journey, or the road, or the irritating donkey. It's so much harder for me to actually acknowledge I might be on the wrong road. I ask for direction, for Him to lead me. Irony abounds again when I buck against any change in direction. He must just shake His head at me. I can almost hear Him sigh...'Which is it Pam, do you want to go in the direction I have for you? Or shall I unblock this path and you just carry on your own way?'
When I finished reading the chapter, I had a fleeting thought about how sad it was that Balaam couldn't see properly and the donkey paid the price.
Then I went on to my next reading......
Yes, Teacher, Rabboni, Jesus.....please help me see. Sometimes I am so blind.